The Pups

I’m dusting off the old blog, yet again. It’s nice to have this here, when Facebook and all those other social media sites begin to make me feel stifled creatively and smug about humanity.

Here, I can stretch my fingers and my flex my brain. I don’t have to worry about filing up people’s news feeds or which list can see what picture. (Yes, not everyone gets to see pictures of my kids.)

So here I am, back in WordPress, trying to reacquaint myself with changes and decide how I want to fill this space. Let’s hope it takes shape organically, because my brain hurts trying to plan anything right now. Besides, who blogs anymore? I mean, is it still a thing for non-revenue seekers to do? I keep up with a lot of editorial, theological blogs, but most of my friends (especially in the adoption community) have moved on to 140 characters or less.

Either way, I need this right now. Yay for free blogging.

To keep it easy on this post, let me recap the past 9 months since my last post. LIST TIME!! (in no particular order)

1/ I closed my jewelry business this year, officially. Like through the state and city. I didn’t renew my membership to the Durham Craft Market. It’s been tough to mentally let go, but my heart just wasn’t in it anymore. I want to focus more on writing and other creative outlets.

2/ Sproutlet started Kindy this year. I have many feelings* about this.

3/ Big E started 2nd grade. I have many feelings* about this.

4/ We adopted a dog from Kansas City. She’s like Abbey, only more wily and perhaps an undercover agent for British intelligence. (That’s just how I imagine her “voice”). She’s about three and still has a lot of puppy in her. She’s been a great fit with ol’dog Ferg, they balance each other.

5/ I abandoned my novel. I finished the first draft, then butchered it in editing/re-writes. I literally have no idea what I have done to it. So 4 years down the drain. Lesson learned? DON’T TAKE A YEAR AND A HALF OFF. Don’t shelve a project unless it’s not working. Writers write. Everyday.

6/ I started a new novel. I’m 18,000 words in! I’m very anxious about finishing it and not repeating the same mistakes!

7/ Watching my brother-in-law battle ALS has been the hardest thing I have endured. Watching my sister-in-law and nieces care for him and soak up every minute with him, has been equally heartbreaking. As an “outsider” it’s hard to navigate how much help to offer, when to back-off, when to press…a lot of emotions these days…

8/ I was part of a search committee for our church. Truly a spirit-led endeavor, it was a great education for me on many levels. We not only found an excellent new rector, but I learned a lot about our church history and make-up. We are diverse in thought, word and deed, but we all want the same thing. A spiritual leader that will help challenge and ignite the gospel under our feet. Easy enough, right?

9/ I can actually keep plants alive. I’m thankful for automatic watering systems and a kind friend who helped me plan around my black thumb.

and finally…
10/ Letting Go is FREEDOM.

My Best,

*feelings that are not atypical of a mother who is trying to absorb every minute of her children’s lives and feels it will never be possible with time moving so fast.


It’s been almost seven months since my beloved Brady passed away. 

Last night, we adopted an 8 year old chocolate lab. 

I drove to Greensboro in the driving rain. The coincidence was not lost on me. We picked Brady up one night during a torrential rainstorm. As a matter of fact, I drove that night, too.

I choked up a little bit. I was caught in a flurry of emotion that came and went just like that. 

[As I type, Fergus has jumped onto the couch and pushed my laptop away; thumping his tail with pride. I surrendered and moved my laptop to the armrest. Awkward typing at its finest.]

I believe, wholeheartedly, that things happen for a reason. Sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s tragic. I don’t think it’s ever my responsibility to explain or know why-but I believe in a plan bigger than my own*. As Pollyanna as that may seem, I can’t push myself to believe otherwise. Meeting Fergus, I felt like Brady may have had a paw in that. Maybe, just maybe, he was sitting up there with God and waiting patiently for me not to well up when I talked about him. Panting and thumping his tail until that moment came; when he and God knew who would fall in place with us. 

On the way home from meeting Fergus (who was named Relic at the time)-we knew he was the one. We all went back and forth-Duke, Dude, Watson, Cooper, Copper; a myriad of names crossed my list. 

Big E was the one who came up with the name Fergus-and we fell in love with it. He shouted out from the backseat as if it were manna from heaven. Crying out, “Eureka!” would have been cooler than the “Yes!” that was shouted in unison from D and I. But, we don’t live in the 1840’s and we didn’t discover gold. 

I asked Big E where he got the name. He claims that it “just sounds like a good dog name, people might think he’s a person, but he’s really a dog. Like Abbey.”

The kid knows his stuff. 

(I thought he got it from the movie Brave, whose patriarchal character shares the namesake.)

But my Fergus doesn’t want to take down a bear. He is calm and sweet, he only wants to be loved on and he’s pretty stoked about the milk bones he receives once he returns from a potty break. Abbey (aka The Dowager Countess as I will now call her forever), is confused as to why he won’t play with her the way her brother did, why he looks at her with a blank stare when she woofs at him to go out, and why is he playing with her toys!? Tradition, people! We must uphold tradition!

[Fergus’ head is now back on my right arm-smacking my laptop with his paw. He is not amused that I’m still typing.] 

Ah, there-free again. But not for long. I have an old pup to love on-so with this I part…



*I know there is a world of people out there who don’t agree with this sentiment. I respect them and their positions. Reasoning out my faith in a blog seems too tricky and difficult, especially when faith or theology, rather, can be so fluid. I have yet to see anyone else do it, but believe me-I do think about it. One day, I want to unpack all my thoughts on God and organized religion…just not right now.