the pre-placement days

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We didn’t get to the beach for the weekend, but we did manage to enjoy our weekend at home. I started a project of repainting a cabinet, we re-arranged LG’s room, made it to church, had dinner with friends, and lunch with family. (not all in that order)

I realized last night at about 11pm that I had not thought about our adoption. Well, in terms of all the poopla that’s going on over there. I think about LG everyday. I can’t help that at all. I can’t help but daydream about our first family trip to Charleston to see our friends C-Dub & Tank get hitched. (more nicknames, heehee) I think about pool playdates with L.J. and the Auntie Annas… And pumpkin pickin’ in the fall with MyMy. (yeah Sharon, we’re doing that, go ahead and mark it in your calendar!)… Family Reunion with our agency families, which I believe will also fall in the autumn, that’ll be a hoot!….I figured out when I want him baptised and when we’ll try to make it out to the midwest to meet all his Kansas/Missouri kin.  His first camping trip, his first beach trip, definitely his first trip to the mama’s Boone stompin’ grounds…So basically, if you ever see my eyes glazed over, it’s because I’m scheming about what we are going to get Little Guy into when he comes into our family.

All these rampant daydreams aside, I realized (which was the original point) I don’t feel any anxiety over this wait until late Sunday night. And it’s just more of a “oh, it’s Sunday night, and it’s 11am in HCMC” I keep trying to consider “the big picture”. A couple of weeks a go when I became overwhelmed with negative vibes, I decided something. Preparing for things unknown is tough and I don’t want to this wait to define me. I want to have other things going on,  make this life count while we wait. It’s something I didn’t do while we tried to conceive biologically.

And so  I am still not checking my emails on Sundays (personal sabbatical), therefore I don’t check to see if CIS has sent word that we are approved. I think this is okay. I’m not in control of a lot of things, but I can be in control of what information I’m taking in.  And until I hear of some things shaking loose with the Tu Du Snafu…I’m going to bury myself in God, creating play lists on i Tunes, beads, family, friends and lists…

speaking of,  I believe I owe a certain Laura a certain list post…tee hee…

okay off to make jewelry, ‘cuz mama got a show this weekend…

As Jill Scott said, I’m livin’ my life like it’s golden, golden,

Footienotes ( a new random feature)

Top 3 songs on my “Mod Pod” for this week…

1. Rihanna “Please Don’t Stop the Music”
2. Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown “No Air” (I didn’t watch American Idol the season she won…she was the one who won, right?)
3. Madonna “Miles Away”

and guilty pleasure…not purchased but I have heard/seen it a couple times online:
New Kids on The Block…Summertime. What can I say? They aged well…LOL…

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I’m a big proponent of when the people speak, the government should listen. And I, being president of this blog, have heard my people. LOL…

The problem is, I’m a tad paranoid about putting too much info out on the web. So this picture is just a snippet of what Little Guy’s room looks like. And it’s still a huge work in progress.

So here’s my vision…

I love children’s books. Reading and playing are two crucial elements that no child should be denied, in my mind! So incorporating muted background colors with bold tangible items, I will be arranging his space to surround him with both Vietnamese folklore and our American childhood favorites. He’ll have an area to play and create and a place to read (other than in Mama Pajama’s lap.)I want this to be a room he can grow with and personalize. I want him to have toys that teach and promote imagination. We’ll worry about gaming systems and electronics later.

I found a cool framed Babar print at a yard sale last summer. I have an idea of framed book covers and Vietnamese art on the wall where his crib will be. I’m toying with the idea of painting the tree of life for him on the wall with his little jungle critters lounging under it on a pallet of pillows (the kid all ready has a ton of stuffed animals as you can see in the closet!). (And don’t fret Granmamas, he’ll be well supervised!)

Remember this is all in the planning stages and once we get the crib and glider we’ll reassess the final decorating ideas. In my mind’s eye it looks awesome. One hundred billion hot dogs awesome!*

I want to point out that this blog has definitely helped relax me today. I had many tears of longing this morning, feeling that the next several months are going to chug along at a snail’s pace, and to focus on his room has been quite therapeutic. Little Guy is now 6 months old, and I just want to hug him and not miss anymore of him growing. I’m jealous of his nannies and sad for his first mother. We all love him so much!

Y’all have a blessed week and give an extra hug to your loved ones tonight. 🙂

Madame President Mama Pajama

*Extra credit goes to those who know who that refers to!

Not much happening on the “Bringing Little Guy Home” front. We are piecing together his room and I’m enjoying the evening working on various things.

The Avett Bros. are on my iTunes.

The dog on the right has gas.

The dog on the left is wandering about the house looking for something to do (or to chew on rather).

I have updated my social site pictures and printed out detailed tax stuff.

I re-arranged Little Guy’s room then considered starting a load of my wash.

(which, never happened.)

I have devised a color-coded alert system, for where we are in the stages of Little Guy coming home.

Currently we are in Code Yellow: preparing for his arrival, getting childcare lined up, baby showers, etc etc etc…

When our paperwork gets to CIS, that will be Code Orange. We will begin packing suitcases and gathering donations for the orphanage.

And then comes Code Red with a Gold Star. We’ll be off to Viet Nam! HAHAHAAHAA!!!

*happy, giddy sigh* I need to go to bed.

:)g’nite sweetie friends!!!

Well…no news. We have been waiting 2 months, 3 weeks and 4 days. But whose counting? Thank you Lord for stupid online tickers. Nah, I actually think those are the devil’s doing. I’m not thanking him/her/it for aiding and abetting to my anxiousness of having a child. dammit.

I have bookmarked more Vietnam blogs than I have ever before. Families in every stage of the wait and the journey. I have subscribed to 3, THREE yahoo groups all dealing with adoptive parents of Vietnamese born children, local parents of Vietnamese born children and finally my adoption agency’s yahoo group.

I have succumbed to my own demon. Obsession.

Good job.

I posed the question here whether it was weird to register for baby stuff before we even had a referral. I’m beginning to think it’s not, as I truly believe if I don’t move on to something new soon, I will know more about “Looking for LuLu”‘s life than my own.

*banging head against wall*

Maybe it’s just a case anxiety; that I may miss some Embassy or DOS statement that my agency will miss too (which seriously, they won’t. They are so good about getting info to us!).

The big kicker is, that if we hear anything about a referral, it would be APRIL, at the EARLIEST.

I’m screwed.

I can’t wait until we head to the mountains next weekend.

and thank GOD I’m an Episcopal. 🙂

My mind needs to be focused on counting beads and preparing my taxes. I have a bead show that I’m taking a prospective client to (she’s a bride!) in less than an hour but I keep getting drawn to the computer to research baby stuff. Is it weird to register for the baby before I even know who he or she is?

Yesterday our agency hosted a cultural connection class for Vietnam, and now all I am thinking about is making the trek across the globe to meet our child. I want to start cooking Vietnamese food and making paper lanterns for everyone. I want to learn more about Tet. I feel this growing attachment, just as I knew I would. I have added my learning sheets to our adoption journey binder and joined another yahoo group (well, pending approval, of course.) D has all ready started scheming on how to help me try new foods that I might not be able to stomach once I got over there. (He’s far more of a world traveler than I am) He’s ready to spend a month there and soak it all in. I really think he should have his on show on the Travel Channel. Seriously.

In addition to our growing desire to become Vietnamese…(haha) We met some fantastic people at the class, and were able to really put a face on the other families we share this time with. And for some reason, it was a very therapeutic experience. It’s always nice to know people who are on the journey with you. People that share in your craziness as you wait for a referral!

As far as how I’m FEELING (someone asked me this last night while we were at my niece’s birthday party), right now, I’m okay. But I can’t speak to what I might be like as we get down to 5 or 6th month mark. When it’s at “any day now” a call could come in. I have flashes of anxiety, but all in all I feel pretty good. I have even lost 3 pounds on Weight Watchers. 🙂 I worked out this morning, and counted inventory, until I got sidetracked.

For now, I will end this transmission to put on some make-up and find out why my dogs are barking. Must be a squirrel.

And I’m neither unpleasantly full nor am I frazzled by all that we had going on. It was a pretty successful holiday.

I’ll make my way into work here in a bout an hour, leaving D to prepare for his mission trip to Haiti with our church. I’m excited about him going, I’m also a little sad that the time he has off we won’t be together. It’s odd spending vacation time away from one another and we always come back saying, “there was this moment where I really wished you were with me…” *Sigh*

In other Christmas related news, this was definitely the year of the Viet Nam travel guides! D’s friend/co-worker D.L. gave him a very colorful, picture-laden travel guide, my sis and her boyfriend J gave us a Vietnamese phrasebook and Frommer’s guide and then lastly, D gave me a travel guide for my b-day (which he had ordered over a month ago.) But we are excited about all of them, because they are each so different!

In my Christmas stocking, I received a ceramic ornamament with the Vietnamese flag and a book called, “When You Were Born in Vietnam”. I carried it all around with us yesterday, showing all our family a snippet of what’s to come. And everyone was so excited, asking question upon question. This kid is all ready loved beyond words.

I also bought a little gold and red sequined star for our tree for our baby. It’s nothing super fancy, but just another gentle reminder for what’s to come. I was feeling a bit down about how to show our adoption while we wait. Pregnant women have a belly to show, adoptive moms have to get a little more creative. And there is a bit of trepidation…which is true for any type of anticipation. Something might go wrong, so how much of ourselves do we put out there? Is it okay for me to start preparing a nursery when we don’t even have a referral?

It was one year ago today we made the decision to research adoption, to see if it was really where God was leading us. And those who know us, know that so much has all ready happened in one year! We went from researching to making the commitment and now we are seeing that commitment through.

And just that in reflection, I know it’s okay to put put ourselves out there and to go ahead and make plans, and live life. We’ve done okay so far…right?

Off to work….

P.s.-And a special thanks to A & J for my birthday pajamas…ooooh I love them!!!

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